Oh Hey Internet!   Well, oh hey iblogwhatieat readers specifically.  My name is Steve, I’m usually blogging what I hear, but on this special occasion, Matt has taken a break for a second.   I believe he’s in the bathroom for a bit after all that blogging and eating, he’ll be back next post.

Since it is Chanukka, I’m here to share with you a very special tradition of the Jewish people.  No, its not an accounting class, we will be discussing the wonderful world of Latkes.  Of the many wonderful flavors of Jewish Cuisine, I believe the latke reigns supreme.  Its taste and smell are instantly identifiable, bringing back childhood memories of feeling sluggish after eating too many.  For those not in the know, a Latke is a small fried potato pancake.  Often composed of shredded potato, onion, and oil, they combine to create a delicious concoction which on the surface is simple, but can take a lifetime to perfect.

Now, there are 2 schools of latkes.  The boxed variety, and the by hand variety.  These are truly 2 separate entities, with 2 distinct flavors.  Lets compare and contrast, shall we?  In this corner, we have the By Hand Latke.  Made by grating potatoes and onions either by hand or using a cuisinart, seasoning appropriately, draining any excess moisture, then pan frying.  They have a consistency similar to a hash brown, and a taste not too far off.  In the opposing corner, we have the Boxed Variety.  Now, these certainly take less work.  You empty the box into a bowl, add an egg, and you’re ready to fry.  These taste more like a mashed potato concoction.

My family being old school New York Jews, they scoffed at the mere mention of the boxed variety.  We would be shredding potato, and we would be happy about it. My sister and I gathered at my parents house in Ft Lee NJ this Sunday for a Channuka Latke Throw Down.  Sydney, my sister, is somewhat of an aspiring culinary explorer.  She tries to spice up traditional holiday gatherings, because we all know the same dishes get tired year after year.  So, she found an old school Jewish cookbook at Bonnie Slotnick Cookbooks, a great little store in the West Villiage, and adapted some recipes.  Not only did we grate potatoes, but also yellow squash, sweet potatoes, carrots, and onions.  The batches would be mixed varieties of various combinations of said vegetables.  I wanted to add bacon and pulled pork, but somehow my Jewish mother objected.

The Fam Preps the Latkes

The prep work was intense and messy.  The parents made some Blood Orange Mimosas to ease the process, by making fresh squeezed blood orange juice, mixed with Prosecco.  Delish. We washed and peeled everything, followed by 2 trips to the food processor, to grate in each direction. Ingredients were then drained and fried in vegetable oil.   All in all, we made close to 100 latkes.  They bought a lot of potatoes, so I figured, why the hell not?  This proved hazardous, simply because of the fact that frying about 20 batches of latkes takes quite a long time, produces quite a smell in the house and the clothes of those in the area, and who is going to eat all those?  But we soldiered on, showing that cast iron skillet who was boss.

Fry Time!

I’m sorry to say, I could not really taste the difference in the wonderful variety of vegetables included.  I think once you fry something in oil, let alone the same oil between batches, its going to taste pretty similar.  That’s not to say they were not delicious, which they were.  The mom also made the applesauce from scratch, adding some cranberries just to mix things up.  Maybe she was trying to add a little Christmas spirit to the event?  Who really knows.

Finished Product

My final thought is this.  Go out and get yourself a box of potato latke mix.  Stir them up, fry them for a bit, and dance around in a circle hoisting whoever is closest to you up in a chair.  If you are successful and still intrigued by mysteries of Jewish culture other than Kaballah, get some potatoes and onions, and go to town.  You may add bacon if you’d like, as long as you invite me over, and do not notify my mom or any rabbais in the neighborhood.

That is all, we now return to your regularly scheduled Matt.  Happy Chanukka